self talk matters

“Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening”

-Lisa M. Hayes (B. 1961)


There are several fundamental tenets which influence and control how we’re wired to connect with our higher version of ourselves. I’ll, however, narrow down to one key aspect which is often neglected, and that’s self-talk. The quality of our lives is going to be largely determined by the quality of our programming. How we think of ourselves can, therefore, not be ignored since our self-image imprints our making and maps our subconscious minds. It’s paramount to note that how we talk to ourselves is largely determined by the underlying programming we have.

A perfect model of how this works can be illustrated by having a picture of a computer in mind. A computer’s monitor displays the outputs fed into the system via the keyboard. The floppy disk can also be deployed as an avenue where a software or a program is installed into the entire computers’ software.

In this case, you need to use the keyboard (your thoughts and behavior) to program your software perfectly since installing a malicious program then this will in turn corrupt everything and hence your life (your computer in this metaphor), may not be what you want it to be.

It’s astonishing that most of us are unconsciously running odd bad programs. Imagine trying to run your life with a software that was designed in 1962 for instance. In this case, you’ll have lots of challenges operating with such an odd-fashioned program. Well, if this sounds like your life, you need to replace or upgrade that program.

Changing your words, your thoughts and behaviors will ultimately remodel a new you since the underlying programming drives your beliefs, attitudes, and emotions. The most perfect and efficient way to activate this change is via self-talk.

There are 5 levels of self-talk that I’ll briefly scan through.

  • Level 1 : This encompasses self-negative affirmations. In this level, most of your thoughts are predominantly clouded by phrases such as, “I can’t do that”;  “I’m never lucky”; or  “I couldn’t do it, as i thought!”  or “I think this discipline can better be done by so and so..not me”…and so forth. Unfortunately, most people operate predominantly on Level 1 of self-talk. You can imagine running your computer on level 1 software. Your life is going to be sub-optimal if you operate on such a operate on such a negative wired software.
  • Level 2 : Individuals In this level rephrase their experiences by saying phrases like, “I should not smoke”; or “I should not procrastinate”;  or “I should not (do that…)” and so forth. In this case, they clearly identify the problem but not the solution and hence remain stuck in a miasma of self-hate and self-pity.
  • Level 3 : This is an integrated version of level 2 self-talk. Individuals in this level craft decorations around their experiences by painting their self-talk with phrases like, “I’m ain’t gonna smoke anymore”; or “This is the last time I’m late” and so forth. This sounds more of a conviction but still the victim doesn’t lay down key steps of how those conviction(s) will come to pass.
  • Level 4 : This level encompasses who aspire to be. Individuals in this level are self-confident and have a considerate healthy self-image. Individuals in this level have powerful affirmations such as “I’m loved and the universe me is conspiring to help me fulfill my dream” ; or “I am the type of a person who does what I say I’m going to do” and so forth. 
  • Level 5 : This level encompasses reconnecting to your higher self at a different unique level. Individuals in this level are mystical and are connected to the universe.

The most efficient trail to rise from level 1 to level 5 is via taking one step at a time. Simply focus on level 4 and simply let level 5 to be a by product. This is because if you  don’t have a good relationship with yourself this may be challenging to try to push ahead of the game. Master the basics. In your quest to connect with your ultimate source, the best way to master this concept is to get healthy on the basic mandate level.

As my philosophy goes, “The best way to step on the accelerator of your own life is to challenge yourself everyday….to do better and be better”.

I’ll share the best practical approach to this that helped me in this self-actualization journey and is this: identify top 10 things you say to yourself that are most negative. Listen to yourself for the next 48 hours or so and if possible carry a diary with you…well, except on your sleep 🙂 Make an inventory and list the phrases you say to yourself. Now rephrase these statements and replace them with a positive, affirmative, present tense self-talk phrases. If you feel afraid, worried, envious or irritated and so forth note down tons of positive affirmations congruent to who you aspire to be.

Look, this is a better way to reprogram your life and to commence nurturing your dreams with strong positive affirmations to keep you energized and on track.

Let’s keep optimizing as we grow and venture to ensure that everyday can add up as we continue to pursue Greatness.

Remember what we say to ourselves matters. Choose wisely what you say when you talk to yourself.


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